You Don’t Have to Quit by Maureen Palmer

Many people view abstinence as the only option for people with an alcohol use disorder (AUD). But You Don’t Have to Quit: 20 Science-Based Strategies to Help Your Loved One Drink Less takes a different approach. The book, written by Maureen Palmer with Michael Pond, discusses the merits of targeting a reduction in alcohol consumption rather than insisting on abstinence.

Palmer cites 2021 data from the United States that noted 94 percent of people with an AUD reported not receiving any treatment or not wanting to receive any treatment. For those who can’t or won’t go as far as abstinence, harm reduction is still a viable goal. Getting someone to drink less without stopping entirely can offer health benefits and improve relationships. Palmer lays out the rationale behind this thinking, provides some fact-based support for its viability, and offers strategies that can be used when trying to encourage a partner, family member, or friend to drink less.

You Don’t Have to Quit provides facts and statistics about the causes, prevalence, and treatment options for AUD, and about drugs that can help those with AUD. Palmer provides real-life situations, garnered from both her own experience of being in a relationship with someone with AUD (her partner Mike), and examples from the clients (with names changed) from Mike’s therapy practice, where he works with those struggling with addiction as well as their family members. These examples aid in understanding and make Palmer’s case more compelling.

You Don’t Have to Quit discusses the stigma associated with alcohol use disorders and the prevalent belief that stopping alcohol use is merely a matter of willpower. She cites research findings that show that chronic substance use alters the circuitry in the brain that helps one make rational decisions. There is also evidence that for some individuals, the brain’s reward circuitry starts to rewire itself right from the first drink, at whatever age it is taken.

Palmer doesn’t let the alcohol industry off the hook, noting the huge amount of advertising promoting the “good time” benefits of drinking, the way advertising has started targeting women and girls, the “pink washing” of alcohol use, and vigorous efforts on the part of the industry to downplay any link between alcohol use and cancer. She also discusses the societal pressures that encourage us to drink.

Against this backdrop cutting back, let alone quitting, can be a daunting task. But You Don’t Have To Quit offers twenty concrete strategies that can be used to help one’s loved ones reduce their alcohol intake. Among these are understanding the person’s reasons for drinking and their triggers, shifting from victim to ally, employing sound communication strategies that decrease defensiveness, and knowing when to disengage. You Don’t Have to Quit provides useful suggestions for how to approach discussions about sensitive topics, how to express empathy, and how to avoid shaming, all of which can be helpful in maintaining healthy relationships generally.

Palmer makes a compelling case for the argument that abstinence works for some, but may not be feasible—especially as a first step—for everyone. Those who choose to take the reduction approach may encounter resistance from friends and medical professionals who believe abstinence is the only way to go. But when cutting out doesn’t seem feasible, cutting back is still a worthwhile goal.

Living with someone with AUD is not easy. But Palmer believes that the positivity of her relationship with her partner during his sober times made the other times worthwhile. For those who would like to encourage, or help, loved ones cut back on their alcohol consumption, You Don’t Have to Quit offers both a place to start and a reason for hope.

Maureen Palmer is an award-winning former Canadian Broadcasting Corporation journalist and filmmaker. She writes extensively on substance use treatment, including evidence-based harm reduction approaches for alcohol. With her partner, Mike Pond, Palmer co-wrote the book Wasted: An Alcoholic Therapist’s Fight for Recovery in a Flawed Treatment System, and directed the CBC documentary adaptation. She lives in Spirit Bay, near Victoria, BC, on the traditional territory of the Sc’ianew people.

Publisher: Page Two Books Inc. (October 8, 2024)
Paperback 8″ x 5″ | 296 pages
ISBN: 9781774584668

Lisa Timpf

Website

Lisa Timpf is a retired HR and communications professional who lives in Simcoe, Ontario. Her writing has appeared in New Myths, Star*Line, The Future Fire, Triangulation: Habitats, and other venues. Lisa’s speculative haibun collection, In Days to Come, is available from Hiraeth Publishing. You can find out more about Lisa’s writing at http://lisatimpf.blogspot.com/.

Lisa Timpf

Leave a Comment Cancel reply