A piece of autofiction, a form of fictionalized autobiography, Jowita Bydlowska breaks down and pieces back together the darkness and long term ripples of sexual abuse, complicated parenting styles and forgiveness along with revenge. A beautiful, hauntingly compelling look at internal darkness, starving for hope and self-love through this feminist manifesto was raw, polished, and authentic in many ways.
A beautiful, hauntingly compelling look at internal darkness, starving for hope and self-love through this feminist manifesto was raw, polished, and authentic.
From the very first chapter I was drowning in the pain and heart of the main character, Yoveeta, as she navigated the launch of her book, in some ways this very same one. With discussion of eating disorders, sexual domination and raising a young child through all of it, Bydlowska found a way to pull me through, keep me invested, and rip my heart out time and again.
This tale is not for the faint of heart or young soul — it is for a reader who wants to break into pieces to better understand why abused children continue to abuse, why unloved woman struggle to accept love, and how challenging it is for some to let the light remove the dark. Yoveeta is loveable, a quality she cannot fathom admitting to so instead she counts calories, does the expected, and loves who makes her feel seen in that very moment. The journey is made through friendship, new beginnings, and the struggle to let go of old habits. When change is as hard as staying where you are, there’s a struggle both internally and externally — and not choosing is a choice.
There’s a poetic flow of time, with each sentence and brilliant turn of phrase lighting up the page even during the darkest of scenes. The cyclical pattern through time, emotion and healing was a heartfelt way to tell this story which depended on situations from her past, present, and expectations of Yoveeta’s future.
A haunting tale of exploring immigrant and sexual trauma, mixed with infidelity, gaslighting and awakening, as hard as the pages were to stomach, the style of writing matched it equally with easily digestible morsels. While both causing indigestion, it was a dish served in a delicious and gut wrenching manner. I would definitely read another of Bydlowska’s books to study the phrasing and masterful language use.
Jowita Bydlowska is the author of Possessed, the best-selling memoir Drunk Mom, and the best-selling novel GUY. She’s also a prolific short-story writer, journalist, and a professor at the Creative School at Toronto Metropolitan University. She was born in Warsaw, Poland, and came to Canada as a teenager. She lives in Toronto with her son and their chihuahua.
Publisher: Anvil Press (September 1, 2024)
Paperback 5.5″ x 8.5″ | 256 pages
ISBN: 978-1-77214-224-2
I am a struggling artist, a challenging and challenged mother who always thinks she is failing, an emerging freelance writer and reporter, an author with my name on several books crossing genres and always hoping to find more readers who enjoy them.
I am also a successful artist, a wonderful and thriving mother of one, a reacher towards both people and dreams despite all of the turned backs and obstacles in my way. I am a thriving freelance writer and reporter, an author loved by enough readers to make it worthwhile and a discombobulated conundrum who loves to hear new music, tell new tales and meet new authors. And I’m doing something I always dreamed of doing – reviewing books to support others as well as myself and my family.
- Sarah Butlandhttps://miramichireader.ca/author/sarah-butland/
- Sarah Butlandhttps://miramichireader.ca/author/sarah-butland/
- Sarah Butlandhttps://miramichireader.ca/author/sarah-butland/
- Sarah Butlandhttps://miramichireader.ca/author/sarah-butland/
- Sarah Butlandhttps://miramichireader.ca/author/sarah-butland/
- Sarah Butlandhttps://miramichireader.ca/author/sarah-butland/
In the addiction recovery community, there’s much talk of ”a hole in the heart.” Inner brokenness comes in many forms as does the acting out in the search for wholeness. As a male, I had no problem relating to a ”Monster” in its many forms. Powerful themes and a brilliantly crafted book. Jowita got skillz!!